The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Test my limits, why don’t you?
20:13 Apr 23 2008
Times Read: 607

I have an interview with a pretty major client in downtown on Friday.



The interview is downtown through tunnels and rush hour traffic. The interview starts at eight fracking fifteen in the flipping AM.



The worst of it?

I've been told I will need to do something about my washed out almost unnoticeable just slightly pool shade at this point green hair. I knew there was a reason my intuition made me refrain from redying it on St. Pat's day.



The hair thing is the absolute killer. I know it seems absolutely childish and silly, but I would almost want to die rather than give up my green hair. I'm depressed enough as it is, I don't need another thing to test the limits of what I can take.



Chin up, I'm really trying to take this with a grain of salt and a smile. As a matter of fact, go ahead. Have a laugh at my expense. It can't possibly hurt me at this point, lol.

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=17643778&albumId=1786036



Just if you're having a laugh at all "the unforgiving," please be certain to comment on anything you DO happen to like, OK?



I have to get whatever it is done, by Friday AM, and whatever look I choose I will have to cut, color and style it myself with no money.



Wish me luck.

Were you born stupid, or did you just grow that way?!?
05:31 Apr 20 2008
Times Read: 620

I got a response from my herb leech...

Can anyone help me translate from stupid to pookah?

******************************************************

I wrote:

I would like to thank you for your interest in selling Turtle Island Brand herbs and organic herbs here on Amazon. If you wish to continue selling Turtle Island Brand herbs, please remit your yearly franchise fee of $699.00 to Turtle Island - 1208 Electric Avenue - East Pittsburgh, PA 15112 and we will contact you regarding the quality standards which you must adhere to. We will be sending one of our corporate employees out yearly to inspect your operation to ensure that your operation meets our quality and cleanliness standards.



If you continue attempting to sell Turtle Island Brand herbs without adhering to our quality standards, and without becoming a legally licensed franchise of our operation, we will have no choice but to pursue further action.



Regards,

-Rebekah Faith

Turtle Island, COO



He Responded:

If I gave you a list of herbs could you post them for listing as well, also

if you can list 1 pound versions that would be great!!!



regards,



Kismet

Update
06:20 Apr 17 2008
Times Read: 627

Feeling pretty good today... Still poor, but working on it.



1. There are a ton of bugs in the software I just released, but the testers went through and tested the prior unreleased version, and proved that every single bug was in the prior unreleased version. Essentially they're documenting that I've fixed everything they've reported and more, and the things that are still outstanding are stuff that was pre-existing; stuff that I didn't cause. They could have just thrown me under the bus and not retested the prior version, but they're going the extra mile to prove these aren't mine. Oodles of luvs for my testing engineers!!



2. Because there are so many bugs that I will have to fix, I might have the opportunity to put in extra hours. I need to make extra money to buy expensive health insurance that will cover pre-existing conditions, so... "hail and well met!" I've put in a request asking for the cap of hours I am allowed to work, but the manager has caught the plague. He won't be responding today, I'm sure.



"I've got something in my eye." - Sam "Try digging it out with a fork, that always works for me!" - Max : Sam & Max - LucasArts.



3. I had an idea to thwart my "Amazon herb-leech." The deal is: I have my herbs for sale on Amazon. They are my brand names. Someone came along and has put their listings under all of my brand name products and keeps lowering their prices twice a day so that they are listed from 1 penny to 1 dollar below mine. It is irritating because 1. They don't sell my brand name. 2. I have no idea what they are selling. (Some of these cannot be the same quality, because they'd be losing money!) 3. Some of my herbs are listed as organic, and although my product page says certified organic, their listing does not say that their product is certified organic. 4. The last four of my herbs sold from them, and not from me.



Here's my idea: I'm updating all my listing descriptions so that it shows that the ones listed by me are brand new, guaranteed fresh, and certified organic (if applicable.) Then I'm adding a second listing under my each of my herb product pages for the double size. (1 oz sizes, gets a 2 oz size listing. 4 oz sizes gets an 8 oz size listing.) This will lend weight to my credibility and pricing, it will increase the ratio of my listings to their listings, and it will (hopefully) make them look like the cheap hacks they are.



4. I'm going to the healing circle tonight. Might stop home and pick up the 'cee. He makes me go to his stuff. So I'll make the excuse that I think he needs to get out of the house, hehe. Besides, I want to go out and spend some time with him outside of the house (and outside of his LARP game.)



"I can't. My therapist and I have an agreement." - Day of the Tenticle - LucasArts



5. The 'cee was wonderful with helping me out the door this morning. "Don't give up. Give it a couple more days. You'll see a change!"



6. Mom booked the room for the wedding, and is looking into insurance. I started looking at dresses last night. Wondering if a long flowing whispy/poofy skirt made from dozens of long thin tiered panels of chiffon would look horrible on a fat person.



7. I need to start dieting. Pronto.

"Is pronto a real word, Sam?" - Sam & Max - LucasArts.

store closing closed.
14:59 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 644

Billy shut me down. Oh well. I kind of thought things were getting a little out of hand anyway. I only posted the thread to ask ppl to pass on the link and to maybe cry about my woes that I had to close down the love of my life.



To be honest I thought it would be RIA'd the first day and left for 24 hours like everything else up there. But I really should have closed the thread myself the second someone wrote "spend money ppls" or whatever it was they wrote.



No complaints about Billy, he's always been a great guy. Just doing his job. *g* ;P



On the other hand, I'm glad the thread remained open as long as it did. I have some new friends now. Ppl who did get the gist that its hard to lose something you love like that.



*sighs*

Residual Effuary
06:24 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 653

OK, what the frack is wrong with me? I'm still reeling from the month of "Eff"-u-ary, me being sick, closing the store. I just don't feel like I can deal with life anymore!!



Or is it that I got my pay today?

The whole month of March, I put in 33 hours. So this pay was for 16 hours. Yay!

It's gone. Thank GOD my brother sent out the food and gas cards. Thank you brudder jon! We really are going to need those to get through!



I'm at work right now. I got in round about 1:30 PM. That is the soonest I could pull myself together. I'm about to cry though. I hope to god I don't start crying at work. I don't need it on top of what's already going on.

"Knock, Knock, Knock!"

"Whose there?"

"The WORLD."

"gak."



There are two things I'm trying to do to keep myself together.



The first is obvious. What blooms in the self is whatever is fed the most. Thus, I am force-feeding myself positive thoughts. I am repeating over and over again all of the things I'm thankful for. Over and over again in my head like an obsessive-compulsive, hail-mary mantra.



Simple instructions, Repeat over and over until happy.

"I am thankful for my house, my fiancee, my family."

"I am thankful that Wanda (our car) is still runnning." *knocks on wood*

"I am thankful that we have food cards, and gas."

"I am thankful we still have electric and water." *so far*

"I am thankful we still have a phone." *ditto*

"I am thankful that the car inspection is not due until May."

"I am thankful I still have a job." *knocks on wood*

"I am thankful for every customer the online store gets."

"I am thankful for every person the 'cee will be making stuff for."

"I am thankful that he was able to get deposits to order the materials he needs."

"I am thankful that I sold a computer, and I still have another one for sale."

"I am thankful I still have a job." *so far*

etc.



If I even start to think about my health, the roof, the money situation, the store I had to close, or anything else that is not good right now, I instantly revert back to my mantra.



The second thing I'm doing, is I'm going to get my butt to a healing circle that I found for Wednesday night. If nothing else at the very least I could use to congregate with a bunch of like-minded hippie dippy-people like myself.



I stopped the effexor a while ago, but I have a prescription in my purse for Ativan. If I'm still this bad tomorrow, I might get it filled. If I'm not better by Thursday, uninsurance be damned, I will be finding a shrink.



I think I need someone else to help me manage right now. There's a lot of things I've just given up on. If you ignore it, it will eventually (one way or the other) go away, right?

Hrm. I think I need someone to prod me to not give up on the health insurance deal.



All this business about how when one doesn't scream loud enough they can just get left behind in the dust? Seems rather reminiscent of the scads of mentally ill who are left to roam the earth, untreated, a danger to themselves and others.



Simple instructions, Repeat over and over until happy.

"I am thankful for my house, my fiancee, my family."

"I am thankful that Wanda is still runnning." *knocks on wood*

"I am thankful that we have food cards, and gas."

"I am thankful we still have electric and water." *so far*

"I am thankful we still have a phone." *ditto*

"I am thankful that the car inspection is not due until May."

"I am thankful I still have a job." *knocks on wood*

"I am thankful for every customer the online store gets."

"I am thankful for every person the 'cee will be making stuff for."

"I am thankful that he was able to get deposits to order the materials he needs."

"I am thankful that I sold a computer, and I still have another one for sale."

"I am thankful I still have a job." *so far*

etc.





*edit*



Not 30 minutes after writing this, I wandered into the kitchen to get a soda. There's a guy I work with whose name is Rocky. *Bullwinkle!* is what my mind shouts back every time I think of his name.



Anyway, he asked how I was doing, and I said that I was using mind over matter, he sat me down and prodded me to continue in my quest to find health insurance. I said I found something that will cover me, but it's almost $500 a month.



He said that I should do it. Whatever it takes. Said that if I have polyps and they burst, and they go septic, things could be very bad. He said I might end up regretting my decision about this mind over matter thing. He told me that first priority is to make sure I have health insurance and make sure I have the tests I need no matter what. Even if I have to work full time and ask my fiancee to take up a job as well.



"I am thankful that the universe listens to my requests, and prods me when I asks for a proddin'"



*2nd edit*



Bugger. Apparently when you edit a journal entry, you lose all the comments. I guess that's what I get for trying to fix something that didn't really need fixin'.

google is big brother.
06:14 Apr 15 2008
Times Read: 656

Lotsa stuff.

1. I hate google. My house and my car are now in their mapping system. They were on my dead-end private street taking pics of my house, my life, my street and my car. Their car, on my street is pictured right on their map site! If I ever see their car on my little dead end street taking pics I *WILL* have to do something about it! Grr! They will know the meaning of a *DEAD* end street! You want proof? Go to my myspace photo album called "big brother." I feel violated, and I am pissed.



2. Today was a rollercoaster. From depressed to angry, happy sad, thankful. OMG, I can't even tell you. Fact: I need health insurance; tests done, etc. Fact: I need to not give up. Fact: Need ppls in my life to encourage me in that direction.



3. Blah blah, lost friends n'at. Yes, I've closed the store, I have more time, I'm on my way back, but I'm not there yet. I'm still sick, I haven't been able to make the rounds yet. Give me a couple of weeks, or a couple of months. Hey, how about making the first move? How about saying HI first?!? You can't be patient with me? Then forget you. Sorry so blunt, but I guess you could say that's the Loki side of the pookah talking now.



4. Speaking of the Loki side: Yes, I have the ability to pull headaches and backaches out of ppl. But I notice with me - I'm able to (if I can focus) ignore my problems, send white light, pull reds and blacks and browns out, change colors within, occasionally heal; but more often than not when I'm just alone in my pain and I think about stuff, it hurts worse. Wondering if I'm meant to be more gifted at causing pain than relieving pain. Of course that's what any depressed angry 1/2 bit healer would say, eh? God give me strength.



5. Going to look into attending a healing circle on Wed night. Wish me luck getting there. I think getting around some like minded folks and getting some direction and/or guidance is right what I need about now, eh?



6. I promised myself I'd write music tonight. So why haven't I done it?!?! Too late. Time for bed.



Frack.

My dad is a dick.
03:03 Apr 14 2008
Times Read: 662

34 years old today, and I have to re-learn the lesson that my dad is a dick, AGAIN.



Extremely contrary to the christian dogma wherein I was raised, there's something to be said for the old jewish philosophy, "Forgive, but never forget."



Over and over again, he just lives to spite, make sure that everyone knows that he has the worst of it, and slap me across the face with anything he can; his favorite is how much like my mother I am.



To wish me a happy birthday, he replied to a specific message that I sent to him over 6 months ago. Not a bad one, just a specific one.

His birthday greeting was simple. "And The Same To You Too!"



Ugh, talk about low. Talk about unable to let things go. Dude. Your poison runs so deep that you fester in it for over 6 months? How sad.



Well, I wanted to write him back and say something snide, or witty, something to let him know that I knew what he was trying to do.



But instead I played ignorant. I replied and said:

"Thank you very much!

Love ya!

-Rebekah"



Forgiving is easy. Not forgetting is the difficult part for me.



That is what journals are for.

Is it an egg, or a host to a chicken disease?
22:54 Apr 11 2008
Times Read: 668

Is it an egg, or a host to a chicken disease?



For a while there this morning I thought I had gone stark raving mad.

Things are looking up, but still I felt absolutely awful today!



"What gives?" I thought. "Am I actually classily depressed, or manic?"



I mean, we still don't have a LOT of food, but my brother sent gift cards for food and gas, and they arrived today. (THANK YOU BRUDDER. I will save them for if I absolutely need them.) Even better, I get paid soon and the fincee's side of things is starting to roll, too!



I thought, "What is wrong with me that I still feel so bad now, when there's no actual physical reason to be depressed?"

-Or so I thought.



Then the pain hit, well not so much "hit" as I just happened to finally stop thinking long enough to notice it has been using a sledghammer on my doorbell all morning.



"Yessirrree, I guess it's 'that time.' Oh goodie."



Then more pain hit.



"What the?!? Oh, Hell! This is awful! What is going on here?!?"



Then it started to rain.



"Oh. That."





I have been in pain from the top of my head down since about 8:00 this morning, the downpour outside started at 11, and the worst of the weather front, the cold snap is expected tonight.



Everything aches. My hands hurt, the pain in my neck and through my skull is making me nauseous, my back, and down my legs, my knees.... Well, the usual. Blah, blah, blah. No biggie, right?



'Cept I'm out of my pain medicine.

I called for a refill on Wednesday.

I called back on Wednesday afternoon. They said wait 24 hours.

I called Thursday morning. They said it could take 24 - 48 hours.

I called Thursday afternoon. They left me on hold for 25 minutes, and then said that it would be done by 4.



I called Friday morning. They said the doctor didn't get in yesterday and it will be done by 4 today.



I let the nurse know that I was hoping to get it soon. "I'm in quite a lot of pain because there are a ton of fronts rolling in today," I said.



She said, "OK dear. We'll get back to you later today." She said this in quite the condiscending tone that made me realize that talking to someone without arthritis about weather pain has about the same result as

talking to jane goodall's apes about arkem's razer.



Oh great. Now she things I'm one of those pain crying pill junkies.



Wonderful.



So, after I realized that there would be no relief on the near horizon, I was trying to muscle up the courage to get into work today.



Hands aching, back twinging with every step, head feeling like I've got several industrial sized ice picks jamming me, on machine rollers, in the eye and up the nostrils through the brain about every 20 minutes or so...

I'm slightly dizzy and very tired, but I decide to go in anyway.

Again, I'm determined that just like with my stomach issues, or anything else I can't fix, I'm going to just ignore and muscle through.



I decide that I would be proud of myself if I can pull it together and go in; On the other hand I would just lie home all guilty, depressed and ashamed of myself if I don't.



So I go in.



I'm very late, but I made it.



The irony ensues.



About 1/2 the office has called out sick, in pain, or with car trouble.



Now here's where I wonder if what I have here is a chicken egg - an edible breafast ovulation requiring the use of a skillet, or a carrier of the great northeastern pandemic bird flu.



If all these people are out, was it a testiment to the futility of my efforts?



Should I have just stayed home as well?



OR.



Since all those people were out, was I "Lucky" for this to be the day that I made it in without anyone to notice how late I was?



My brain hurts.



Literally.

Even more good nooze!
16:18 Apr 11 2008
Times Read: 671

The fiancee has started to take deposits for custom boffer weapons he is making for people to go to Conquest America. http://www.conquestamerica.com/



He got his first two deposits last night at game. That means, he can buy the supplies he needs to make said weapons on his own, without cutting into regular food and bill money!



YAY!

Happy, Happy Miracles!
03:10 Apr 10 2008
Times Read: 680

Happy, Happy miracles...



The fiancee sold a chainmaille vampire hunter collar online. The e-check cleared today after 5pm. I was able to get gas to go home, and I stopped at sam's club and picked up an 6 lb bag of penne, a 8 lb bag of spaghetti, a whole chicken, a 5 lb bag of veggies, a gallon of milk, and soda. With the condiments I have, I should be able to flavor different batches for variety and stretch that for quite a while. If I can swing by the store tomorrow and there's still money left after gas and shipping of stuffs, I would get one more type of meat, and we'll be set!



I'm mailing out the finished vampire hunter collar tomorrow morning, in addition to three books that sold today. (We don't sell but 1 book a week, and today we sell three?!?) lol.



More herbs posted up on amazon, I'm on "R" now.

I will do the infusions next, and then put in some more books.

About 70 more items to put in, and two hours to do them all in.



I have been working non-stop like a sex-deprived rabbit.

Very soon, like within a couple of days, I will be done all of the additions and changes, and I will be able to write music and poetry again.



:)



Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Here's to things looking up!

Depressed and Angry at the world.
17:14 Apr 08 2008
Times Read: 693

Depressed and angry at the world





The last of the peanut butter ended yesterday. I don’t remember being this low on food in my whole life. We have 1/2 a loaf of bread, some hot dogs, no pasta or rice left, one chicken breast, one fish filet, one potato, one can of whole potatoes, one can of tomato soup, one english muffin, a bag of flower, a jar of sugar, 1/2 a bag of very stale off-brand golden grams, a little of the monster cereals, but precious little milk.



I’m going to see what I can do with that flower and sugar in the oven when I get home. Maybe I can make a little more than very nutritious paper mache.



I got sick. I’m sorry. I needed to get a colonoscopy done, but no one would do it. I tried to go for medical assistance but was rejected. I applied for four other health insurance plans, and was rejected. I just gave up. I stopped caring. I decided I don’t need to be healthy. I figure if I just ignore my problems, one way or another, they will eventually go away.



My last paycheck was for 14 hours for two weeks, and this one that I will get on Monday will be 16 hours for two weeks. If I keep going into work this week, I will get a check on April 28th for 25 hours for two weeks. If I can make it till then, things will start turning around.



We had to close the store. Yes we’ve been trying to put a happy up-spin on it, but the fact of the matter is, things went from bad to worse, and we had to trim the fat.



There is very little gas in the car. I go out the door today thinking that I might not make it home. I tried to sell the old computers on craigslist to get money for gas in the car, but no takers.



I got a letter from where I used to live. They calculate that I owe $1000 worth of local income taxes. I called them back. They were closed. I left a message. I said, "I don’t know what this FINAL notice is all about. But I’ll give you a final notice. I have a leaking roof, no food, no money, no gas, my health is failing, I need medical attention no one will treat me, and I’ve been too sick to work. I’m sorry, but I just don’t see the point of it all anymore. Goodbye." Unprofessional, I know. But I needed to do it.



I hate this government, that people can just be left in the dust, discarded and left behind. If you stop caring about yourself, if you stop making noise, no one else will even look your way, or come along and offer you a hand.



Back in Febrary we took out a cash till payday loan to pay some bills so the utilities didn’t get shut off. I’m still paying that back because of my missing hours, I’ve had to keep extending it with the minimum payment. I really wish I could withdraw the money from my bank account, but the sharks keep putting a hold on it before I even have access to it. So that means, out of the $300 I do get, these loan sharks already have $100 of it, and it goes all to extension fees and interest. The amount I have left does not pay bills for two weeks, let alone pay for food and gas.



I’m off to work now, but I’m about at my nerves’ end. I just don’t want to live like this anymore.



It’s 11:55 in the afternoon, and I’m just leaving for work now. I’m unstable, and I need to watch myself carefully. I’m I’m angry at the world and I’m flying off the handle inappropriately at every situation. Lord pray that I don’t get into any confrontations today. I’d tell them exactly what is on my mind, and they might just get hurt in the process. Situations like this I have had security called on me. Thankfully, knock on wood, I’ve never had any arrests. My record is still clean.



I’ve just got to keep it together for a few more days.





*edit: the 'cee is insisting that I stay home today. I just hope I don't get fired.*

Help wanted please!
05:02 Apr 06 2008
Times Read: 698

If you happen to know of anyone who would appreciate a good store closing sale on herbs, organic herbs, pagan or gaming stuff, we would really love if you could forward this link on...



http://www.PaganGamerGeeks.com



Much loves!



-pookah

Pagan Gamer Geeks!
21:29 Apr 01 2008
Times Read: 715


*THE TURTLE MOVES*

We’re not just for Pittsburgher’s anymore!

We are not only www.TurtleIslandPA.com,

but we are now www.PaganGamerGeeks.com as well.



The Turtle Moves, and in celebration, you get up to 50% off products on our website.







*Bonus points to anyone who knows (without looking it up)

where the phrase "The Turtle Moves" comes from.



PS.

Keep an eye out for us at the following events:



Origins:

June 25th - 29th 2008

http://www.originsgamefair.com/



Conquest America:

July 16, 2008 - July 20, 2008

http://www.conquestamerica.com/



Gen Con:

August 14-17, 2008

http://www.gencon.com/2008/indy/



Dragon Con:

August 29 - September 1, 2008

http://www.dragoncon.org/



Nero Vegas/ Las Vegas Renn Fair:

October 2008



December 21, 2008

Turtle Island / Magus Effects Zombie Wedding.

http://www.TurtleIslandPA.com



Estrella War XXV:

Feb 10-16, 2009

http://www.estrellawar.org/



I-Con:

April 2009

http://www.iconsf.org/



Perhaps we can organize some VR meetups?

See you soon!